On Being 30

A couple of months ago, I turned 30 years old. In the days leading up to that day, and in the days since, I have found myself thinking a lot about my twenties and what I would like to see happen in my thirties.

I am not sad that my twenties are over. I started out the decade living in Florida, and ended it back in my hometown of Erie. It was a decade for me that - for the most part - I am not proud of. I made a shamefully huge amount of stupid decisions. I made some terrible mistakes. A lifelong dream was shattered. I scraped rock bottom for many of those 10 years. I have shed way too many tears over the last decade. I spent way too much time being sad, angry, and depressed. I spent way too much time fighting with God and not nearly enough time seeking Him. I wasted so much time wallowing in pity because things weren't going according to MY plan. I didn't spend enough time loving and appreciating the people in my life who give so much to me -- and for what? So I could give them nothing in return?

I remember during my darkest times over the last few years when people would tell me that I would one day look back on this time and be grateful for it all; for it will help shape me and mold me into the man that God wants me to be. After I got done laughing, I would silently scream at God, pleading with Him to give me strength to make it through until those days arrived -- if they ever did. There were times that I wanted to give up completely. There were certainly times when I gave in completely. There were times that I crumbled under the weight of my own fallibility that I was all but certain there was no way out. I'm not kidding when I say that I was depraved to the core.

Yet, in the midst of the darkest depravity, there can be no denying that God was laying the pathway for something bigger; something amazing. I always felt it, I always hoped for it...even when I thought that all hope was gone. And even while I was struggling through my darkest days, I had found a place of refuge in Grace Church. At Grace, I found a circle of friends whom I cannot imagine life without. It was also at Grace that I found Danielle, who is the best friend I have ever known. And when the time came for my faith to be tested in ways I never thought possible, I can sit here today and tell you with confidence that the chains of bondage I had been enslaved to for so long were SHATTERED because - and only because - God led me to Grace and, ultimately, Danielle.

As I enter my fourth decade, I leave my third behind with a sense of gratitude that it is over. But I also look back upon it and thank God for what He did for me during those years. It was rough, and at times I couldn't (nor did I want to) see, but I have emerged on the other side fully intact. I look ahead with excitement. My thirties are going to be healthier and happier than my twenties were...that much is for certain. I look forward with anticipation at what will happen in this decade. It's already off to a pretty good start; I started a great new job last month. And with this new job, it will open up the doors for me to fulfill the new dreams that God has given me. Becoming debt-free (we're oh so close....YEAH!!!). Starting a family, Lord-willing (it's weird to think that my dad didn't even have me in his thirties...he was 40 when I was born). Devoting my life 100% to Christ, both personally and professionally (another byproduct of Grace). Going back to school to make that happen. Writing a book so I can tell my story. Yes, this is going to be an awesome decade. And although I am notorious for wanting to take ten steps at a time instead of one, I can't help but to be excited that these years will, without a doubt, be the best so far.

The name of this blog is The Broken Soul: Contemplations Along the Journey to Restoration. While I know that we, as believers, won't be fully restored until we're gone from here, here is where we begin the journey. Almost 14 years ago, I began that journey. Since then, I have had incredible highs and incredibly low lows. But one thing is certain: through it all, God has remained faithful to this incredibly broken soul. His promises have never failed me. His love has always endured.

And I am grateful.

whoisgrace.com

My wife probably would not approve of me bragging about her in a public space like this, but I'm afraid that there is just no other option. She and Chris Falzone have just completed a major overhaul to Grace Church's website whoisgrace.com. I am absolutely in love with the redesign. It is sleek, sharp, and sexy (can a church website be sexy?). Great job, guys. It looks fantastic.

One of the things I am most excited about is that whoisgrace.com finally has the functionality to play videos directly on the site. Last summer, I asked a question on this blog as to whether people would prefer Vimeo or YouTube as a host site for the videos that we create at Grace. Although opinions were divided more or less right down the middle, I decided to abandon YouTube and switch completely over to Vimeo. I believe the quality is better on uploaded videos at Vimeo, and the interface is definitely nicer as well (it's grown on me). You can see the videos yourself by going to whoisgrace.com, clicking on "connect" on the left side of the page, and then clicking on "Vimeo".

Another thing I like about Vimeo is that a Plus membership allows you to create a personalized channel for your videos. In fact, the Grace Church channel is the page that is linked directly off of the front page on the whoisgrace.com.

Finally, directly underneath the connect button on the front page is a button for "The 411". The 411 is what we have begun calling our weekly video announcements at Grace. We have been showing video announcements in our weekend services at Grace since 2005. Now, if you miss them, you will be able to view the video on whoisgrace.com. Although there have been cosmetic changes to the announcement video format over the last four years, there has never been a major overhaul on the way we do them. Starting earlier this month with the countdown [it's all part of the package], we are in the beginning stages of a brand new way of doing video announcements at Grace. I think that the people of Grace will be very pleased with The 411. I am working with the communications team as we speak and am so excited to unveil the new format sometime over the next few weeks.

Grace may be over 110 years old now, but I believe we're as cutting-edge as ever. As time goes by, the message always always stays the same, but the methods of delivering that message can and should change. At Grace, we are 100% convinced that Jesus Christ is the hope of the world. But shame on us if we think that the methods used for communicating this Hope in the church of yesterday will work in the church of today. Yes, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But that doesn't mean that we should sit idly by as we watch technology, time, and relevance pass the church by.

So check out whoisgrace.com, check out our new Vimeo channel, and get excited by what God is doing at Grace Church in Erie, Pennsylvania!! Oh, and if you happen to be reading this and don't currently have a church home, I encourage you to check Grace out "in person". :-)

2 of the 41,000,000

Danielle and I are going to be 2 out of an estimated 41 million people who are going to be traveling 50 miles or more next week for Thanksgiving. We are going to be going down to South Carolina to see my Dad and his wife. It should be a fun time. Hopefully we have good weather on the way down, although there is a little part of me that hopes for bad weather (it makes the trip fun).

We're going to have a bunch of new music to listen to (although D and I are notorious for....GASP....having conversations while we drive long distances). In addition to having three full CD's of Christmas music (compliments of Aaron), Danielle downloaded the new Casting Crowns Christmas CD and Sara Groves' new Christmas CD. So we're set music-wise for the trip. I'm wondering if we'll even listen to them, though? We might have too much to talk about.

Another great thing about this trip is that is going to be HALF the cost of the exact same trip that we took just three months ago over Labor Day weekend. Consider that gas, at that time, was about $4/gallon. I heard on the news this morning that the national average of gas will fall below $2/gallon by Thanksgiving. Checking the trusty gasbuddy.com, I see that there are places along our journey that are currently selling gas as low as $1.69/gallon. In the same news report this morning, they said that it is entirely possible that we could see $1.00/gallon gas by midwinter. ONE DOLLAR PER GALLON?? I can't even fathom that. I mean, I've seen it before, but ask me two months ago if that was possible ever again, and I definitely would have said no.

It's strange, because I understand that the country (and the world) is suffering through really bad economic times right now. But for somebody who has nothing invested in the stock market or any other kinds of investments, I actually feel really good about the way things are right now. With gas so low, it's beginning to affect prices on other things too...which is awesome news. Is it bad that I am actually feeling hopeful in this time that so many people are struggling?

Well, I'm going to sign off. But, before I do, I realize that my love for all things winter is a little too obvious to those who know me well. Even here on this blog, I have been talking quite a bit as of late about the weather. But this blog isn't a weather blog, and I know that I must talk about other things once in a while. So today, I'm not going to talk about how AccuWeather says we're supposed to get another 18.5" of snow by Sunday.

To Dixie and Back

Well, routine reared it's ugly head again after having spent five wonderful days with Danielle at my dad's place in Myrtle Beach. Although two of the five days were spent driving, I have to say that it was absolutely worth the journey. We arrived into town at about 4 Friday afternoon after having left Erie at about 4:30 that morning (we stopped three times: once for breakfast at Panera somewhere in West Virginia, once for gas in Virginia, and once for a snack in North Carolina). I had arranged with MaryJo, my dad's wife, to keep our visit on the DL. We agreed to meet at a restaurant they like at the beach near their house. As they walked into the restaurant, the hostess brought them to the table that Danielle and I had already been sat at. He wondered why she was seating them at a table at which two people had already been seated. He was absolutely stunned when he figured out that it was us. It was the best reaction we could have hoped for! And -- hopefully -- the best birthday present we could have given him.

With my dad reaching the 70 year milestone on Sunday, I will do everything I can do utilize every opportunity that arises to go see him. I refuse to pass up any opportunity to spend time with my dad. It's already been two years since he retired and headed south, but the idea that I am 800 miles away from him is still something I am trying to get used to. For him, he chose to move his family to America 40 years ago and left his parents and other family back in England. For him, being separated from those you love is something that you "just do". I accept that, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss him terribly. So when Danielle emailed me early last week and said, "hey, wanna go to Myrtle Beach this weekend?", I jubilantly wrote back and said, "heck yes!" I would not have answered any other way.

I'm also very grateful that I have a wife who enjoys my company on roadtrips. I definitely enjoy hers. To many people, the very idea of a 13 hour roadtrip makes them cringe. To us, it is an opportunity to reconnect, laugh, and plan. We do not need music, a portable DVD player, or iPods to keep ourselves entertained. Actually, if I was to be completely honest with you, the drive down and back is my favorite part of the trip. We have each other, and, in my ever-so-slightly biased opinion, that is all we need. ;-)





[EDIT: i tried six times to upload a few pics, but Blogger must be having issues. i will upload them sometime later on friday if and when i get a chance. sorry!]

Observations from a midwestern roadtrip

We left Erie on Sunday morning at 7:30. Ahead of us was a 14 hour trip that, with the one hour time change, would put us into Minneapolis at 8:30 central time. We decided that we only wanted to drive in the sunlight; not because we hate driving in the dark, but because we wanted to see everything along the way. The drive went well, although we did hit some July 4th weekend traffic woes in and around the Chicago area. The weather was near-perfect which made for smooth sailing for pretty much the entire journey. Here are some observations from the road:

1. Planning for light traffic on a Sunday in the country's third largest city is not good planning. Also, don't forget to factor in holiday traffic when, in fact, there has been a holiday on the preceding Friday.


2. I am not a city-lover. As my wife knows all-too-well, my idea of fun is tenting in the middle of a completely deserted wilderness with none of the modern conveniences of daily life to distract me. Still, Chicago looks like a fun city that I would like to explore sometime. But only once.

3. I always thought that St.Olaf was the town in Minnesota from where Rose Nylund hailed.
Well, this trip has proven me wrong. Assuming that Rose Nylund was not getting gas along the Illinois Turnpike, I am rather amused (and somewhat excited) that St.Olaf is indeed a real place.


5. Depictions of the Midwest in movies and TV shows are seemingly accurate. There are corn fields and different kinds of mills as far as the eye can see.


6. I'm convinced that most media does not know what they're talking about. While they are running story after story about how high gas prices are affecting everybody's vacation plans, it didn't much seem like it as we drove on Sunday. Traffic going east was absolutely insane. Thank goodness we were heading west. Traffic was backed up from near Rockford, Illinois to the middle of Wisconsin (about 200 miles).


7. Wisconsin's highway numbering system is wonky. Indeed, they're not even numbers. They're letters. Take, for instance Highway PP and Highway EW:


8. For America's Dairyland (as they proudly proclaim on their license plate), Wisconsin didn't have as much cheese as I thought it would. However, it did have it's fair share of tornado and flood damage from earlier this year.


9. We arrived the Twin Cities just as the sun was setting. It was really beautiful, actually. It was as if the Twin Cities' Chamber of Commerce knew we were arriving and arranged the most perfect of evenings to welcome us:



Overall, it was a really great drive. In retrospect, it doesn't seem like it took 14 hours...but roadtrips with Dave and Danielle are always so fun that you don't even notice how long the drive is. Even the gas prices weren't as bad as had been feared. The highest we saw was just outside Chicago with $4.49/gallon. As we approached the 14th hour, we both commented on how much we wanted to continue driving because we had had so much fun. Actually, that's a lie. I thought it...but I didn't say it. I love road trips with my wife. I love my wife! :-)



Today, we are heading to the Fogo De Chao Churrascaria for lunch. I haven't been to a churrascaria since I traveled to Brazil several years ago. It goes without saying that I am pretty darn excited!!

Uh, is this thing on?

Yes, I dare say it is.

Blah blah blah.

TESTING ONE TWO THREE